Wednesday, March 18, 2009

America's Next Top Model Power Rankings Are Here!

What do I love more than sports and competition reality shows? A combination of the two. That's why, for the first time on the internet as far as I know:

For anyone not familiar with the concept of power rankings (click here for an NBA example), they're a ranking of teams in sports that order teams not just by overall record, but by how good they're playing right now. We here at YMD are gon' try to apply the same concept to our favorite Reality Model Competition (take that Bravo) and, Tyra willing, we won't do too bad at it. It's going to be kind of a crapshoot until we get some more data, but let's do it anyways. Hit we with the format, internet!

#. Model Name (rankings in last few episodes, excluding the clusterfuck that is the first hour of the premiere, bold for bottom 2, italics for winner of the reward challenge), [average ranking overall]

1. Celia - (5, 2, 5) [4]
It's hard to give it to someone who hasn't won a challenge yet, but with early favorite Teyonna taking a picture that was mediocre at best, we're gonna take Celia, who hasn't taken a bad picture yet and who Paulina actually complimented tonite. She looks kind of a sexy possum, maybe (?). Definitely on the ugly-pretty side, definitely in the way that Tyra likes.

2. Teyona - (3, 1, 8) [4]
Teyona didn't impress this week, but Tyra looooves her face and until this week loved her posing as well. Plus, this week was play-acting as a tourist, so we're not going to count it against her too much. Also, thank God Tyra fixed that Jheri curl.

3. London - (4, 5, 7) [5.33]
Hipster Jesus Freak has been good and interesting all the way through, and prolly would've been higher this week if she hadn't been in a picture with Allison.

4. Fo - (2, 11, 4) [5.66]
Now, I think Fo is the prettiest of all the girls on this cycle, which means almost nothing here, and might cause me to overrate her. But her runway walk this week was mad fierce, and let's remember that her picture last week wasn't actually that bad, she just got slammed because she cried on set about the makeover (which is stupid, I know, but she has seemed more or less together otherwise).

5. Allison - (1, 3, 10) [4.66]
Can't drop her too far because of how great she was in those first two challenges, but she of the gigantic eyes looked so lost and scared this week that I briefly worried for her safety. Too early to tell, as with everyone, but if she doesn't step it way up dis week she dropping maaaad far down this list. Also, she looks soo much worse with her blonde hair and, again, the 4chan connection freaks me out.

6. Natalie - (8, 4, 9) [7]
She hasn't done anything super-above average as far as photos yet, but have the judges loved anyone or let anyone get away with as much shit as Natalie this season? First she refuses to get her hair-cut, and it turns out they weren't going to give her one anyways. Then she does a stupid turn on the runway, and wins the challenge anyways? Big thangs if she can actually get a win.

7. Sandra - (12, 8, 1) [7]
Oh, Sandra. I really thought you were going to get your arrogant ass gone in those first two episodes, but now yr a great model all of a sudden? I mean, you've definitely always had the look, but I dunno if I can trust you to keep it up.

8. Aminat - (9, 10, 2) [7]
Yeah, yeah, 2nd best of the episode, whatever. Fo was better in it anyways. Forreal tho, Aminat definitely showed promise this week, but she needs to show us some more before YMD gives her a bump. Plus still disappointed from last week that her afro was a weave.

9. Tahlia - (10, 7, 3) [6.66]
Did you guys think that picture was that good this week? The pointing up thing? Yah, I dunno. Tahlia is really pretty and a decent model, but they seem to be setting her up for a storyline like Isis' last year where her main "thing" (in story terms, obviously they both have much more going for them) eventually makes them too self-conscious to perform. Hope I'm wrong, but not that optimistic.

10. Kortnie - (7, 9, 6) [7.33]
Oh, Kortnie, how I wish you spelled your name differently. Do I dislike you for dating your ex-boyfriend (whom I hate. Greg Biffle 4 Life) or cheer for you because yall broke up? Anyways, I don't think you're a very good model so far, and seeing you trying to light yourself (which I do imagine is very hard) was maaad painful. Don't think you're gonna win this one, kiddo.

Word to Miss Jay's bow-ties, we gon get bigger and better next week, tell your friends. Also, who yall got in this?

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