Wednesday, December 23, 2009

YMD's Super Sweet Sixteen: TRAILERS EDITION

If you've never spent a lazy, hungover Sunday watching movie trailers until the sun goes down, why you haven't lived. Maybe I'm in the minority here, but I was most excited to get my first computer so that I could download quicktime trailers. I was most excited when DVDs started becoming popular so that I could watch the theatrical trailers included in the special features section. So yeah, I take this shit seriously. It has to hold my interest, be well edited, not give too much away, and keep the deep throated voice overs to a minimum. Not so for the In Bruges trailer, which made Martin McDonagh's wonderful, dark and poignant film seem like a Colin Farrell/midget buddy comedy from the minds that brought you American Pie 8: Sperm Bucket or whatever chum they're spewing these days. I digress. The following are GOOD trailers. Good ones. Promise.

16. Where the Wild Things Are (2009)
So it turned out to be pretty "meh" ( I've heard), but every twenty-something I know that grew up with their dad reading this every night before bed shed a little tear with the Arcade Fire lyric "If the children don't grow up/Our bodies get bigger, our hearts town up" playing over the Maurice Sendack's familiar imagery. Any preview that can begin with James Gandolfini's voice saying "I didn't want to wake you up, but I really want to show you something" and me not running out of the theater in tears is a winner in my book. CRY AT THE WILD THINGS! CRY I SAY!

15. Unbreakable (2000)
Ooohhh M. Night Shamalamadingdong. So pretentious that even this trailer, which at the time was just an omnibus, foreboding, curiosity inducing two minutes, not seems overbearing and cliched. But let's imagine for a minute that he didn't pull the same bullshit with The Village and Marky Mark Presents: Trees Are the Worst, and enjoy how clever this preview is that really redefines the word "teaser."

14. Sexy Beast (2000)
"You're just going to have to turn this opportunity yes."

13. Kill Bill, Vol. 1 (2003)
Remember being in the movie theater with all your friends and knowing, just KNOWING that this movie was gonna be totally sweet?

12. The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (2003)
This is definitely the closest Michael Bay will ever get to a list I make of things that don't make me angry. Although this movie was...flawed...this trailer makes me want to see it again. I like the idea of freezing the action with some sort of...old timey...polaroid effect? With a sound that a cat makes? Still, without tearing it to pieces or anything, it's one of the more effective horror movie trailers out there.

11. Punch-Drunk Love (2002)

10. & 9.Broken Embraces (2009) & Volver (2006)
Someday I'll make my "Penelope Cruz Opening Doors In Almodovar Films" montage, but for now:
Volver trailer

Broken Embraces trailer

8. The Royal Tenenbaums (2001)
Everything that I love about this movie is in the trailer. Especially Alec Baldwin's voice.

7. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004)
Like a Bjork video, but longer, and sadder. The trailer, on the other hand, is one of the happiest minute and a halfs you may ever watch.

Top six, in a very youtube embedding-heavy come on Christmas Eve. Or if you're Jewish, tomorrow.

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