It's definitely not TV.

I don't always love everything put out by HBO. Tell Me You Love Me was the the first televised taint, and hopefully the last time I'll ever see one, Dane Cook's Tourgasm was a show starring Dane Cook, Bored to Death although better in the end, is still barely tolerable for me, and Arli$ was the worst thing to ever happen to my TV. Oh, also Entourage exists. My point is, they've had some misses in their past, every network has. And let's be serious, most networks haven't put out The Sopranos, Big Love, Six Feet Under, The Wire and about a dozen other critically acclaimed, obsession worthy shows. But here's my problem with their latest venture, How To Make It In America: they're not even trying. It's just another show about a tightly knit group of friends struggling to make it in the big city while living in their well-lit New York apartments in between going to swanky art openings and parties at rich people's lofts. It combines the relationship faux pas of SATCH (the H doesn't stand for anything, but makes for a more fun acronym) with the utter broness of that Marky Mark bullshit everyone keeps insisting is hilarious (it's not).


Yeah, this looks like the abode of a struggling artist.

This isn't a new thought, people complain about these shows all the time, but there's something so insipid and demeaning about How To Make It In America even for just a bad television show that really sets something off in me. It has a very Up in the Air-like "We're going to talk about the ECONOMY because THAT'S what REAL people are talking about" quality to it that just rubs me the wrong way, well...kind of like Up in the Air did. As someone struggling to make enough money to pay rent in New York (like I am) along with their close group of friends (like my friends) would tell you, it's hard, but also extremely boring. No, I don't want there to be a show about three people sitting in a Brooklyn loft apartment at 9am on a Wednesday drinking coffee, listening to music and talking about TMZ posts, because that wouldn't make for interesting television. But what I really don't want is for television and movie executives to make "relatable" shows that pander to idea that I want to watch anything that remotely resembles my life. Because they will fail. The shows I like have zero to do with my real life. I like to watch shows about deviant plastic surgeons, an island that may or may not be Purgatory, polygamy, and various "reality" shows which if you know anything at all, means anything but. While writing this I'm watching a movie about Nazi zombies directed by Joel Schumacher (I'm very split about how I will feel about this in the end, but you get my point). I know I'm not in the majority, Entourage is still pretty popular as I see from my facebook newsfeed. But I wonder if even they will embrace something as terribly written and produced as this pile of shit (note to writers: bros do not get down to Cobra Starship. Ever). I had high hopes for this show, as the opening title sequence is amazing, and was shot by one of my photographic heroes, Boogie, and I always enjoy a good title sequence.

In closing, this is the worst television show ever made. This is not my opinion, it is a fact. Disagree with me? Read the beautifully phrased subtitle at the header of this page (thanks, MacieJ), or watch the pilot here for yourself and decide. Or don't. I'm going to enjoy the rest of my snowday with some undead SS soldiers and close it with the new episode of Nip/Tuck.