FUCK 2009

UPDATE: This has been settled, don't lose any sleep over whether or not I was able to watch Miley's New Years special. I did, and it was awesome.

THIS article has potentially ruined the upcoming year for me. Time Warner Cable (the company to which I subscribe, and occasionally pay the bill for) is unwilling to negotiate with mega-carrier Viacom who wants a pay increase for the channels they provide, and the cable company which serves New York City may lose the channels at 12:01am tomorrow if they do not come to an agreement by then. Viacom is claiming that Time Warner does not "appreciate" their many channels, and that TW's proposed increase was "pittance." Time Warner bitchily retorted that they "sympathize with the fact that Viacom's advertising business is suffering and that their networks' ratings have largely been declining. However, we can't abide their attempt to make up their lost revenue on the backs of Time Warner Cable customers." What channels do they provide, you might ask?


MTV on which I personally enjoy such fine programming as The Hills, Bromance, The City, A Shot At Love With the Ikki Twins (yeah, what of it?), and GOD HELP THEM if they interrupt my scheduled taping of A Miley Sized Surprise New Years Bash.


VH1 where I can find Charm School: Rock Of Love Girls, sometimes A Real Chance at Love if I'm bored enough, Celebrity Rehab, and the upcoming Rock of Love Bus. ROCK OF LOVE. ON A FUCKING BUS. Plus endless beautiful marathons of America's Next Top Model. And yes,


Comedy Central. I'm between the ages of 18-35, I enjoy The Colbert Report, The Daily Show, The Sarah Silverman Sometimes Hilarious Yet Often Unfunny Show and Roasts of various celebrities.

Television is important to me, it's important to my friends. Shitty programming is a calming and well needed interlude to the hectic work week, and I'm afraid of what would happen if we were denied that experience. Depression would ensue. Riots would break out in the streets. I might have to take up woodworking, clogging, crocheting, miniature-ship-bottling or whatever the hell people who don't watch television do. A friend astutely pointed out to me that Whitney Port should be an inalienable right of every American, and I could not agree more. This will not stand. WORK IT OUT. I don't even know what a Miley Sized Surprise IS yet, and I intend to find out tomorrow morning.

:) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)

244. the Beach Boys - "God Only Knows (Aeroplane Edit)" (2008, bootleg)

Who knows if this ever gets released, prolly not, but when I first saw this Youtube I listened to it like 5 times in a row, and then when someone on ILM uploaded an mp3 ripped from a podcast, I listened to that like 5 times in a row. If I heard this out I don't know what I would do.

I haven't yet figured out what it is about the beat that, for me, largely tones down the creepy undertones of the original ("I'll make you so sure about it", etc.). Maybe it's because the Aeroplane version, even when I'm listening to it alone, makes me think of one day singing along to it with a bunch of people in the middle of a dance floor (click), which draws out the euphoria and buries the desperation. I dunno. I have to get dressed for New Year's and start drinking. Maybe we'll think more about this later. For now, happy dancefloor and open bar wishes from all of us here at YMD. See ya in the New Year (when maybe I'll do a slight redesign to make it easier on deez newfangled wide YouTube videos).

Auld Lang Crime

In case you're making a last minute topical "crazy stuff that happened in 2008" list (thanks for reminding me Sarah Palin wasn't part of a fever dream - asshole), don't stop just yet! Because former NBA star and Real World punchline Charles Barkley was arrested this morning in Scottsdale Arizona on a DUI charge. And zomg, zomg, zomg, check out how hot he looked:



GET IT? BECAUSE HE'S SO SWEATY, FROM ALL THE COKE. Nice, Chaz. So who was he vacuuming blow with until 5am? Former Giants star Michael Strahan (whose gap teeth make Madonna look like an orthodontic spokeswoman) and Jaleel White, or as you might know him:


STEVE FUCKING URKEL

Barkley was found swerving and driving erratically in the wee hours of the morning, when he was pulled over by an Arizona State Trooper, who found his car "full of wine coolers and bear claw doughnuts." He was released a few hours later, but must appear in court next month.

Happy New Year!

The word is on your lips

No list of top songs is complete without boneheaded omissions, and the biggest one I've noted on my list so far is Swedish teen-poppers Alphabeat's incredibly upbeat "Fascination". Luckily, the video for that song and another similarly sugar rush-inducing track are on Idolator today. Smile!

Come on, mammy

245. the B-52's - "Whammy Kiss" (Warner Bros., 1983)

Like many B-52's songs, this one is perfect in every way. The drum machines pound out a constant love beat that accompanies the lyrics, which do the not at all simple trick of making desperation attractive. Who would turn down anyone singing this song "a refuelin'?" No one who likes fun, certainly. I hope your New Year's Eve (and mine) is 1/100th as wonderful as this song. We all need our refuelin' for the new year. Here's to champagne toasts and as many whammy kisses as you desire.

Songs Songs Songs

I heard "Love in the Club" earlier this year and immediately fell in love with it. It became an anthem for my last semester of college. I played and sang along to it at every party. A girl pointed out at a party that you could easily sing my name along to the part where Ursh sings "watchin', watchin', watchin". So it got even better. I know it's an incredibly shallow song, musically. There's one hook repeated over and over and over (a hook lifted from Garage Band, which prolly makes it even better, actually)really . But what a hook it is. This song to me is all-out ecstasy. There were lots of songs I loved this year, I could easily stretch this list out to 100, but "Love in the Club" made me happiest the most. Here's a list, along with a somewhat terribly tagged but still very useful imeem playlist. Have a really great Christmas, folk.

Maciej's 60 Bestest Songs of 2008. Let's Do a Power Hour.

1. Usher - "Love in the Club"
2. Young Jeezy - "Put On (ft. Kanye West) (Album Version)"
3. Cassie - "Official Girl"
4. Dop - "I'm Just a Man"
5. Jordin Sparks and Chris Brown - "No Air"
6. the Juan Maclean - "Happy House"
7. Rubies - "Room Without a Key (Version by Studio)"
8. The Bug - "Poison Dart (ft. Warrior Queen)"
9. Aeroplane - "Whispers (ft. Kathy Diamond)"
10. Paleface and Kyla - "Do You Mind (Crazy Cousinz remix)"
11. The Mole - "Baby, You're the One"
12. Erykah Badu - "the Healer"
13. Hercules & Love Affair - "Blind"
14. Wiley - "Wearing My Rolex"
15. Little Boots - "Stuck on Repeat"
16. Los Campesinos! - "...And We Exhale and Roll Our Eyes in Unison"
17. Ryan Leslie - "Addiction (Remix ft. Cassie and Fabolous)"
18. Ida Maria - "Oh My God"
19. Solange - "I Decided"
20. T.I. - "Live Your Life (ft. Rihanna)"
21. Lil Wayne - "A Milli"
22. Of Montreal - "Nonpareil of Favor"
23. Beyonce - "Single Ladies (Put a Ring On It)"
24. Portishead - "Machine Gun"
25. Ricardo Villalobos - "Enfants (Chants)"
26. Ponytail - "Celebrate the Body Electric (It Came From an Angel)"
27. El Guincho - "Kalise"
28. Kelley Polar - "Roseband"
29. Britney Spears - "Mannequin"
30. Music Go Music - "Light of Love"
31. Keri Hilson - "Energy"
32. Paul Frick - "Knock On Wood, Babe (ft. Matthias Engler)"
33. the Mountain Goats - "Heretic Pride"
34. Bun B - "You're Everything (ft. Rick Ross, David Banner, 8-Ball, and MJG)"
35. Crazy Cousinz - "Bongo Jam"
36. Hot Chip - "Ready For the Floor"
37. Len Faki - "Death by House"
38. The Whitest Boy Alive - "Golden Cage (Fred Falke remix)"
39. Dave Aju - "Crazy Place"
40. the Magnetic Fields - "Too Drunk to Dream"
41. Poni Hoax - "Antibodies"
42. Deerhunter - "Never Stops"
43. Lindstrom - "Where You Go I Go Too"
44. DJ Koze - "Zouzou"
45. Ne-yo - "Mad"
46. the Hold Steady - "Slapped Actress"
47. T-Pain - "Chopped and Skrewed (ft. Ludacris)"
48. Prosumer and Murat Tepeli - "Makes Me Wanna Dance"
49. John Legend - "Green Light (ft. Andre 3000)"
50. Wire - "One of Us"
51. Osunlade - "My Reflection (Deetron Remix ft. Divine Essence)"
52. Ayumi Hamasaki - "Part of Me (Carl Craig Remix instrumental)"
53. Vivian Girls - "Where Do You Run To"
54. Italoboyz vs. John Coltrane - "Bahia (Mucho Lungo)"
55. DJ Mujava - "Township Funk"
56. Jennifer Hudson - "Spotlight (Quentin Harris Dark Collage Club Mix)
57. Religious Knives - "The Streets"
58. Mathias Kaden - "Perclue"
59. Hood Headlinaz - "Rollin' (ft. Jackie Chain & Jhi-Ali)"
60. Son of Raw - "A Black Man in Space"

Albums Albums Albums

The folks that made my fave record of the year look (and sound) like this. I'm as surprised as you are.

I make year end music lists every December, prolly because some compulsive aspect of my personality (reification!) makes me enjoy it a whole lot. It inevitably leads to me listening only to the music of the past year in December, which is odd, but, well, if we're gonna divide our lives into chunks of time we might as well divide our art into these chunks as well. Other people's year end lists always lead me to discovering something I missed and, though I can't imagine this will be too widely read, that's hopefully a small function of it. But won't lie and say that this list is anything other something I do for me, something to look back on (most likely in embarrassment) in the future, and something to think about for now.

The top three records on the list below could all easily have topped it. Jeezy put out a record full of super dramatic beats that perfectly complimented his hoarse rumblings, the best record of his career, and the best rap album in a year of pretty great big rap albums. Erykah Badu came back with an absolute classic, an album so full of interesting emotional and aural textures that I'm in awe every time I hear it. I certainly wasn't expecting anything remotely like neo-soul to pique my interest in 2008, but a masterpiece is a masterpiece. I prolly got the most fun this year from Los Campesinos!, a band who do messy, sugary, wordy indie-pop (another genre I wasn't quite checking for) better than maybe anyone I've ever heard. You know that anyone willing to take on one of my least favorite songs ever with a poptimist lyric like "four sweaty boys with guitars tell me nothing about my life!" get some bonus points for year.

But yeah, (like every year) it was a great year for music, and anyone that tells you otherwise probably shouldn't be trusted. Here's a bunch of albums I enjoyed, and I'll be back tomorrow with songs list (which I put a ton more effort into than this one, to be honest) and a gigantic playlist to boot.

Maciej's Top 25 Albums of the Year (okay so the-Dream was December '07 fucking sue me)

1. Los Campesinos! - Hold On Now, Youngster... (Wichita/Arts and Crafts International)
2. Young Jeezy - the Recession (Def Jam)
3. Erykah Badu - New Amerykah: Part One (4th World War) (Universal Motown)
4. the Bug - London Zoo (Ninja Tune)
5. Portishead - Third (Universal Island Records)
6. Hercules & Love Affair - Hercules & Love Affair (DFA)
7. the Mole - As High as the Sky (Wagon Repair)
8. The-Dream - Love/Hate (Island Def Jam)
9. Gang Gang Dance - St. Dymphna (Warp)
10. Of Montreal - Skeletal Lamping (Polyvinyl)
11. Bun B - II Trill (Rap-A-Lot Records)
12. Dave Aju - Open Wide (Circus Company)
13. Lil Wayne - The Carter III (Cash Money Records/Universal Motown)
14. Ne-yo - The Year of the Gentleman (Island Def Jam)
15. the Mountain Goats - Heretic Pride (4AD)
16. Shed - Shedding the Past (Ostgut Tonträger)
17. Deerhunter - Microcastle (Kranky)
18. Beyonce - I Am...Sasha Fierce (Columbia)
19. El Guincho - Alegranza! (XL Recordings)
20. Ponytail - Ice Cream Spiritual (We Are Free)
21. Vivian Girls - Vivian Girls (Mauled By Tigers/In the Red)
22. the Hold Steady - Stay Positive (Vagrant Records)
23. T.I. - Paper Trail (Grand Hustle/Atlantic)
24. Spiritualized - Songs in A&E (Sancturary Records)
25. Prosumer & Murat Tepeli - Serenity (Ostgut Tonträger)

A list of funny things in this picture would take longer than the 303 songs thing

/film posted this the other day. I LOLd. Who cares what the movie is called or about?

Bey yr the best

I passed out

246. the Olympic Hopefuls - "Holiday" (from the Fuses Refuse to Burn LP, 2024 Records, 2004

Like the Improv Olympic, the Olympic Hopefuls were later forced by the actual Michael Phelps style Olympics to change their name, thus becoming simply the Hopefuls, which isn't nearly as good a name. This song is sweet though. I heard it today on an old mix CD I found in my bedroom in sunny (opposite) Chicago. Indie rock days, those were.

(fun fact, though the iMeem the link above might promise to take you to the best songs of 2008, a good number of those songs will actually suck. Stay tuned to YMD this week for the actual, scientifically proven best songs and albums of the year)

College is officially over.

Matty just texted me the worst news I've heard since I found out a lot of people like the Fleet Foxes. Amidst pressure from legislators around the country, the yellow-bellied (and no longer orange-tounged) cowards at MillerCoors are taking the caffeine out of everyone's favorite Friday night pick-me-up, the mighty Sparks, thus rendering the Sweet Tart flavored malt beverage completely useless.

I know that everybody involved here means well (and by "means well" I mean "thinks this will make them look good"), but do you know what you idiots are doing to us kids who don't like putting things in our nose and drank Sparks for a little burst of energy every so often (or all through the night, as the case may be)? No, we're not gonna start doing cocaine (no one can afford that anymore), but a little birdie told me Crystal Meth is coming back in a big way, and this is just another step towards armies of meth'd out zombies scratching themselves over the Williamsburg Bridge. I dunno how you can sleep at night, MillerCoors bigwigs (prolly a lot easier than me though, because I'm still Sparks'd up for the moment!).

On booing

(Sorry, don't have Photoshop for the moment so I had to try to do that with Seashell)

You might have heard that the shit sandwich in this photo is doing the invocation at Barry O's inauguration. I'm not here to point out that this is a terrible idea, because honestly WHAT THE FUCK that should seem obvious. Yes on Prop 8 is one stupid, stupid thing, yes on Prop 8 justified with some half-brained freedom of speech bullshit is another. Forreal though, I'm posting for one reason, and that is to beg anyone who reads this and is going to the inauguration (whether you're within a mile of the actual event or not) for one simple thing: BOO the fuck out of this man.

From former Chicago Fire forward Ante Razov to the President of Fordham University, Rev. Father Joseph McShane, I've booed a lot of people, and let me tell you, it feels great, and it really feels like you're making a difference (if this reads like sarcasm, I assure you I mean it from the bottom of my heart). And don't let anyone tell you that an invocation isn't a proper time to boo. It's the best time.

I obvs. still love you, Barry, but seriously, there's reaching out to the right, and then there's bulllshit. Booooo.

Please don't dumb it down and never leave me

247. Livin' Joy - "Dreamer" (MCA Records, 1994)

You're in the middle of the dance floor with a bunch of your friends and then suddenly a bunch of you are spinning up towards the ceiling, having been lifted off of the floor by god knows what energy. And you don't go through the roof and you don't go into space, you just go to the top of the club, where there is a (silver) room in which every person that you want to dance with is dancing. You are a dreamer.

What am I gonna do?

248. Chic - "I Want Your Love" (Atlantic, 1978)

Wednesday night, Edgar, Sarah, and I went to the last Special Disco Version party of the year at Santos Party House. SDV has easily become my favorite regular party in NYC over the last few months, not that I go to that many regular parties at this point. If it was on a weekend it would be impossible to get in. As it is, it was packed as hell for Liquid Liquid the other week, and it was more comfortable but still with a nice crowd this Wednesday when Horsemeat Disco from London were the guests. James Murphy was playing when we walked in and, as usual, was excellent. The peak of the night for me, however, was when one of the Horsemeat guys played this Chic classic.

"I Want Your Love" is an embarrassment of riches, really. The vocal hook is easily one of the best hooks to sing along with on a dance floor. The vocals are silk. The rhythm section is so tight and sturdy you could prolly build a club on top of it. Then that horn riff comes in after three and a half minutes and just opens up the track completely. Best served at about 2 am, depending on what time your dancefloor is ready to peak, of course.

Driving Music

249. Neu - "Hallogallo" (from the Neu! LP, Brain, 1972)

This song means driving to me more than Kraftwerk's "Autobahn". This song is steady 100mph towards the horizon on I-57 with liquid sunshine filling the car, the rush of speed somehow in concert with relaxation and beauty. This song is a long, beautiful straightaway with no cops surrounded by green, green fields.

I can see lights, I can feel love, I can see the sun

250. Gui Boratto - "Beautiful Life" (from the Chromophobia LP, Kompakt, 2007)

The homie Jason briefly posted on a little facebook group today about the Lantern, this wonderful little shithole in the Bronx that, you might remember, we used to DJ at on Tuesday nights for a few months in early 2007, and this was definitely the first song that made me think of. "Beautiful Life" holds a special place in my heart not just because of how happy I was when I first heard it, but because how wonderful it felt to play it out when I was a college junior trying my hand at DJing a few parties. I would play it almost every week at the Lantern, or at a Facefuck party (those were they days, I tell ya) and the first few times I played it, someone would without fail ask me the following day what it was.

It got to a point where if I played this song at Fordham there was no way people weren't going to go crazy, and, as arrogant as this might sound, it was the one song with which I was pretty sure that like 90% of the folks there, if they loved that song, it was a love that grew largely through hearing me play it at the Lantern. Thankya Gui.

Video of the Year

You started this fire down in my soul

251. Thelma Houston - "Don't Leave Me This Way" (Motown, 1976)

The sentiment of "Don't Leave Me This Way" is a fairly desperate one. However, 34 seconds in (and again, more emphatically at 1:24), the song realizes something amazing, namely that coming back to someone who is leading an amazing group of dancers in the middle of a club is often a much more attractive proposition than coming back to someone sulking in the corner. By the end of the song I'm not sure that idea of leaving the singer "this way" is remotely realistic, unless you hate fun or something.

I'll take advantage while you hang me out to dry

252. Cibo Matto - "About a Girl" (from the Moonchild Maxi-single, Warner Bros., 1999)

What better artist to write about in a food post than the food-obsessed ladies of Cibo-Matto, who here take a grumpy old Nirvana song and turn it into a lively bossanova-pop gem. Here's a recipe I stole from Rachel Ray and made a few small changes in and made today. Hope you like.

About a Pot

Ingredients:

Group 1 (you'll see how this works, I think it's good for prep):
- two skinless, boneless chicken breasts, cut into bite-size pieces
- some extra virgin olive oil

Group 2:
- about 3/4 of a pound of Chorizo
- 2 or 3 minced cloves of garlic

Group 3:
- 1 onion, chopped
- 6 small red potatoes, diced
- 1 red bell pepper, chopped thin

Group 4
- 3 Large tomatoes (or a bunch of Plum tomatoes), roasted and diced (instructions to follow)
- 1 can of chicken broth
- 1 a decent glass of white wine
- hot sauce (a dash to a few tablespoons, depending on yr taste and the strength of the hot sauce)
- a dash of cinnamon
- salt and pepper to taste.

Group 5:
- some crushed tortilla chips
- Cheeeeese. I used a pre-made cheddar/jack mix cuz we had it on hand, but use whatever as long as it melts well.

OK, first of all, why did no one tell me how delicious roasted tomatoes are? I put them on a baking sheet, sliced into about 3 pieces each with the cut side of the outside pieces facing up. Then I drizzled some olive-oil over them and put them in a 260 degree oven for around 2 hours. Not too dried out, but delicious as hell.

Onto the pot, in my case a regular old medium-large pot. Heat it up on medium-high and put the oil and the chicken in it for about 2-3 minutes, until the chicken browns up nicely. Then dump in Group 2 (chorizo and garlic) and cook another 2-3 minutes, making sure to go at the chorizo a little with yr long spoon/spatula/whatevs, to make sure it nicely separates. The chorizo will release a lot of flavor into the pot. Trust me. You'll love it.

Okay, next comes Group 3 the potatoes, onions, and red peppers. They cook for 5 more minutes. After that, Group 4, the diced roasted tomatoes, wine, chicken broth, cinnamon, salt, and pepper. Wait for the liquid to start bubbling up, reduce the heat and let it simmer for 15 more minutes, and yr pretty much dunn.

Ladle some into a bowl, top it with a whole bunch of tortilla chips and cheese, and go at it. This should prolly make about 4 or 5 decent sized bowls, thought I'll tell you for sure when I manage to finish all the leftovers.

All deez lonely girls wanna cut

253. Slimm Calhoun - "It's OK (ft. Andre 3000)" (Elektra, 2000)

Guys! I'm back in New York! And for some reason this song just appeared in my head (synapses! science!) out of nowhere and God fucking Christ do I love it. It's one of those turn of the century Dungeon Family Jams (remember Witchdoctor and Cool Breeze?! I know I do, but then again I watched Rap City probably every weekday from 1998 to 2001), and it's just such wonderful, happy music. All these lonely girls wanna cut/fuck? Of course it's OK! Andre as the Caterpillar from Alice in the video? That's OK too! Guys I can barely contain my glee at this song.