Thursday, February 19, 2009

Oscar Death Race, pt. 8 (SUCK MY ADAPTATION)

Well this is a bummer. Not only did nothing exciting get nominated, it turns out there was nothing exciting TO nominate. Jesus Christ, unemployed writers of America, START ADAPTING. This category is wide fucking open! While I spend the next few weeks days minutes adapting Nicole Richie's The Truth About Diamonds into the 2010 Best Adapted Screenplay Oscar winner, spend a few minutes reading my predictions for this miserable excuse for a category:

Slumdog Millionaire - Simon Beaufoy (adapting Q & A by Vikas Swarup)
Frost/Nixon - Peter Morgan (adapting his own play)
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button - Eric Roth (adapting F. Scott Fitzgerald's short story)
Doubt - John Patrick Shanley (adapting his own play)
The Reader David Hare (adapting Bernard Schlink's novel)

Who should win:
Well let's see. Frost/zzzzzzzzzzz...oh sorry, I must have drifted off there for a second, where was I? The Reader (as you may have previously read) was awful (AWFUL). Eric Roth took a story under 20 pages by one of the 20th century's greatest authors and turned it into three hour prequel to Forrest Gump, which coincidentally enough, he also wrote (yo fuck that dude). And John Patrick Shanley turned a good play (his own) into a mess. A horrible, stupid, boring, confusing, muddled, overacted, tilted mess of a movie. So...Slumdog. God this year is so boring.

Who will win:
Slumdog, duh, haven't you been paying attention?

Who got snubbed?
Well, as not impressed as I was by it, the screenplay for Revolutionary Road was better than at least four of the nominated films. Not much else. But don't worry, I've adapted three novels into screenplays while writing this, so look forward to this category in 2010.

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