Monday, October 26, 2009

Poppin bottles with top models

At least once every few months, it helps to watch Lisa D'Amato's "Ace of Spades" video, possibly the most retarded ANTM-related thing ever (and amazingly, something that has nothing to do with Tyra). After that apertif (which, if it were an apertif, would be some horrible concoction of midori, Jaeger, and 151 that would ruin not only your appetite, but also your life), we proceed to the meal at hand. Hope you're hungry for stats and me commenting on an episode which, again, I barely remember.

Ranking This Week(Ranking last week). Model Name (rankings in the last 4 episodes), bold for bottom 2), [average ranking overall]

1(1). Nicole - (4, 5, 1, 2) [2.86]
The Cover Girl commercial shoot hasn't ever been particularly strong in predicting the winner, but I think the fact that Nicole is portrayed on this show as socially inept and still managed to place second here should definitely work in her favor. Here's to hoping some stress this week makes her bloody eyeball act up again (and she still wins).

2(2). Britney - (1, 2, 3, 3) [4.57]
Brit represents one of the biggest disparities in recent Top Model history between what the judges see when they look at a girl and what my friends and I see. The judges make the choices obvi, so I'm gonna keep her here, but zzzzzzzzzzzzz. (those stand for "Zounds! She's boring!").

3(6). Jennifer - (2, 3, 5, 1) [3.57]
Good for her, but this isn't Top Scallop Commercial Spokesperson, this is Top Model. So, we'll see.

4(3). Erin - (5, 7, 4, 6) [4.57]
Cover Girl commercial, Shmover Shmirl shmommercial. Aaight, so she actually hasn't been doing that well lately and I think the white eyebrows might be catching up to her, but I still think Erin has hella potential and would be surprised if she didn't bounce back this wekk.

5(4). Laura - (6, 4, 2, 5) [5.14]
Look, I'm not saying that being able to read well and quickly isn't useful as far as being a model goes. But on the list of Professions Made Much More Difficult by Dyslexia, where do you think model ranks? Not that I expect Tyra and co. to not make an issue out of one of the contestants' learning disorders, I'm just sayin', she'll prolly be okay.

6(7). Sundai - (7, 6, 7, 4) [6.71]
It'll take Sundai taking this computer from me and editing a post for her to not be on the bottom of this list, and I'm 6'1, so I can def just hold it high in the air while she jumps and flails at it wildly, never to reach it.

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