Thursday, January 22, 2009

Oscar nom nom nom nom nom

So, the proprietors of this here blog are somewhat obsessed with the annual Hollywood masturbation-fest that is the Academy Awards, so much so that my unemployed ass woke at 8 to watch the nominations on E! Obvi Slumdog Millionaire is gon win Best Picture, but hey, let's see who gets to compete for other shit.

8:27A - Holy shit, there's a show about six year old beauty pageant moms. This is scary.
8:29 - I mean, the moms aren't six years old. You know wot I mean. It's fucking early.
8:31 - FUCK IT'S BEN LYONS. Why the fuck did I wake up for Ben Lyons? Kill me. I am now cheering for the opposite of everything he says to happen.
8:35 - Word to the director of this program for switching cameras so as to confuse Ben Lyons, who apparently instantly forgot what actress he was watching in Changeling.
8:40 - Well this is all going rather quickly. Holy shit, best actress in a leading role is a giant mess. Kate Winslet for the Reader(!) and not Rev Road, and no Sally Hawkins, suck my dick Academy!
8:42 - Stephen Daldry and no Chris Nolan or Clint Eastwood the Reader is picking up noms despite terribly mixed reviews.
8:43 - Bolt instead of Waltz with Bashir for Animated, though Bashir gets the Foreign nom.
8:45 - The Academy totally didn't see the Kate Winslet episode of Extras.

God dammit, I dunno, maybe I'll like it, but I really didn't want to see the Reader, and now it looks like I'm going to have to. Benjamin Button, which of course is Ben Lyons' favorite movie of the year, the shit, got its 13 nominees, and if it wins for Eric Roth's terrible, terrible screenplay, I'm going to stab myself with a rusty knife. No Jenny Lumet for Best Original Screenplay makes me super sad, though I actually really like all the other nominees in that category (besides Frozer River, which I haven't seen but comes out DVD in a few weeks). We will have a comprehensive Oscar preview in the weeks before the show. Sorry, Dark Night fans. Go Milk.

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