I felt the need to trivialize anything I say here outside of the Lohan family with a silly graphic, just so we're all clear. But seriously, Vogue has got me real pissed. First, they sent a 40,000 page magazine to my apartment, sans provocation or reason, which takes up the entirety of my tiny mailbox. I say, "Hey, what the hell, I'll look at it. Anna Wintour's hair always makes me laugh, maybe her magazine will do the same!" NOT SO. After hundreds upon hundreds of pages of ads (cliche or no, this still angered me) I came across a measly few boring articles. It irritated me that I spent so long wasting so much energy in merely holding up the magazine for only the tiniest of payoffs (and none of that hilarious Wintour to crack me up), but it wasn't offensive. No, that payoff didn't arrive until I started reading about "Vogue's India," a spread of "average Indian people" modeling the latest designer duds. Take a look at this baby, held by an toothless Indian woman, sporting a Fendi bib:


Retail price: $115

Or take a look at this man holding a Burberry umbrella that retails for $400:


What offends me, and yes, so many others about this spread isn't just that they're throwing objects of Western dominance into the hands of the oppressed, but they're not even giving their models credit, instead they are referred to as "man," "woman," and "baby." The Daily Mail's Kanika Gahlaut denounced the spread in an interview with the New York Times as "not just tacky, but downright distasteful," and pointed out that thousands of farmers take their own lives every year because of desperation over debt. The World Bank reported last week that over 456 million Indians are living off of less than $1.25 a day, and Vogue is putting Fendi bibs on their babies to...raise awareness on poverty?

Vogue India editor Priya Tanna responded to critics by saying "Lighten up," and that Vogue "is about the power of fashion...Fashion is no longer a rich man’s privilege. Anyone can carry it off and make it look beautiful...You have to remember with fashion, you can’t take it that seriously." Really Ms. Tanna? I see your point. Fashion is stupid. Poor people can be pretty sometimes. Why should fashion try to concern itself with the wealth of the world? But I still hope that Andre Tally bitch slaps you for that last part.