and now, from NORTH CAROLINA

89. the Alan Parsons Project - "Sirius" (Arista, 1989)

I moved to Chicago at the age of five just as Jordan, Pippen, and company were starting their run of beating the shit out of everyone else in the NBA, so basketball was my sport growing up and, as a result, this is by far the song I've most imagined my name getting announced over. With basketball season starting, I might as well honor it here.

PS, I realized tonight that when the Bulls introduce Derrick Rose they introduce him not by his university, but as "from Chicago". Civic Pride! (and possibly some bad memories from Memphis).


BONUS: (players' introduction from Game Six of the 1996 NBA Finals, in which Dennis Rodman made Frank Brickowski his bitch)

Annie, are you okay?

138. Michael Jackson - "Smooth Criminal" (Epic, 1987)

I think this was my first Favorite Michael Jackson Song. I've had plenty over the years and I'm not actually sure what it is currently, but "Smooth Criminal" is def up there. When this became my first Favorite Michael Jackson Song I prolly hadn't even learned English yet (or was just learning it) and I was like four or five, so I wouldn't have known what a crescendo was anyways. It took me years to figure out what that word in the chorus was; I could've figured it out sooner, I think, but I was completely fine with just singing it phonetically. It's a very cool sounding word, whether you know what it means or not apparently. And then, well, this is one of the coolest videos ever. This is not "effortlessly cool." This obviously takes lots and lots of effort and is that much cooler for it.

What must I go through to show you shit is real?

159. DMX - "Get at Me Dog (Ft. Sheek)" (Def Jam Recordings, 1998)

I vividly remember biking to the Brickyard Mall after school (early dismissal, I think) to buy DMX's first album. It was the last month of 6th grade, I had been playing this CD single non stop for weeks, and it was sweaty as hell out.

DMX seemed at the time like the most intense rapper in the world and, while his public persona has devolved to an insane caricature, you can still hear on this track how his craziness made him appealing in the first place. This works as a party record - because of the beat, because of the chorus, because of his voice - but the lyrics are really damn bleak. Besides the usual gun, crime, and poverty talk, X was always good for some very personal depression. I mean, "I've got a lot of dreams but I ain't really chasin' mine" for example, yeesh. That somehow made this track even more exciting, tho.

238. The Pretenders - "Don't Get Me Wrong" (Sire Records, 1986)

I don't remember how old I was when I fell in love with Emma Peel from the 1960s British spy series The Avengers, but I was young. Like...six or seven young. There are many reasons. Played with a delicate but simultaneously overwhelming sexuality, Diana Rigg played arguably the best ass kicking heroine of all time. The producers of the show created the character based on a word association game: Sex Appeal, Man Appeal, M. Appeal...Emma Peel. Get it?



I know, right? Good god. Anyways, the show really shaped my childhood, and if I were to make an Oprah-esque list of my favorite things, it would top it every single time. So imagine my delight when my best friend's mother, a fellow Peel enthusiast, informed me that the British rock band The Pretenders had based one of their videos around my favorite TV show of all time. I don't know if it was the jumpsuit, the throwback to The Avengers or the sweet, poppy tune, but this song, and its video are completely reminiscent to me of innocent crushes, and ass kicking Brits. Maybe it's just me. Click here for a reference point, if you didn't understand anything I just said. But enjoy the video below.

I have visions of many things

263. Jimmy Ruffin - "What Becomes of the Broken Hearted" (Soul Records, 1966)

This is another one of those songs that I tend to lose for a while, and then comes back to me through the magic of iTunes/random television/jukeboxes. I remember hearing it fairly early in childhood, though I've no clue where. The lyrics are fairly standard (though it's a pretty high standard) Motown bittersweetness, but the vocal melody in the chorus is I think one of the most memorable hooks ever, and the arrangement is top notch.

Apparently this is the song that Whitney Houston was originally supposed to sing in the Bodyguard instead of "I Will Always Love You" (we'll get to that later), but they changed it last minute after Paul Young (I have no idea who that is) covered it on the soundtrack of Fried Green Tomatoes. Prolly all for the best, as while I think this is a better song than the Dolly Parton one, the latter was better suited to Whitney's ear-shattering strengths.