Quick word on poor M. Night Shyamalan and stock

Saw Scott Pilgrim this morning (liked it ok, review to come), but funnier than almost anything in the actual movie was what happened during the trailer for Devil. Not having heard of it yet, I was enjoying the preview, thinking that it was something I might be interested in, and then came the magic words "a new nightmare from the mind of M. Night Shyamalan" and I, along with like 8 strangers in this movie theater full of like 17 people, audibly groaned (and then laughed heartily at the fact that we had all groaned together). Poor M. Night.

YMD's Super Sweet Sixteen: TRAILERS EDITION pt 2

The holidays kind of caught up with me, and when I realized I still had about 50% of my Christmas shopping to do, I figured putting off the final six trailers on this list might have to wait just a hot minute. Well, now I'm done, have eaten my weight in shellfish, slept for two days, and arisen to bring you the six greatest movie commercials of the decade. I know you were waiting with baited breath. You're welcome.

6. Femme Fatale (2002)
You're all like "whaaat? What the shit is this movie?" And then I'm all "The one where Rebecca Romijn (then Stamos) Mission Impossibles herself into a ladies room to make out with a chick wearing a gold snake because that gold snake is worth a bajillion dollars!" And you're like "DUH." Brian De Palma may be incapable of making a decent movie in the last couple decades, but he can make a damn good trailer.

5. A Serious Man (2009)


4. A Single Man (2009)
If I haven't made it clear by now, I love a trailer that gives nothing away. And apparently I love a trailer that also looks like a Gucci ad, because I love this one.

3. The Man Who Wasn't There (2001)
As I mentioned in the last post, this is a prime example of a DVD I bought so I could watch the trailer again.


2. The Strangers (2008)
Showing this before any scary movie automatically ruined it. The actual movie wasn't even as this. I'm even more terrified when I listen to Joanna Newsom than I was previously.


1. Little Children (2006)
I've probably watched this 25 times since I started writing this list. Which was about two weeks ago. Yikes. There you have it folks.

YMD's Super Sweet Sixteen: TRAILERS EDITION

If you've never spent a lazy, hungover Sunday watching movie trailers until the sun goes down, why you haven't lived. Maybe I'm in the minority here, but I was most excited to get my first computer so that I could download quicktime trailers. I was most excited when DVDs started becoming popular so that I could watch the theatrical trailers included in the special features section. So yeah, I take this shit seriously. It has to hold my interest, be well edited, not give too much away, and keep the deep throated voice overs to a minimum. Not so for the In Bruges trailer, which made Martin McDonagh's wonderful, dark and poignant film seem like a Colin Farrell/midget buddy comedy from the minds that brought you American Pie 8: Sperm Bucket or whatever chum they're spewing these days. I digress. The following are GOOD trailers. Good ones. Promise.

16. Where the Wild Things Are (2009)
So it turned out to be pretty "meh" (or...so I've heard), but every twenty-something I know that grew up with their dad reading this every night before bed shed a little tear with the Arcade Fire lyric "If the children don't grow up/Our bodies get bigger, our hearts town up" playing over the Maurice Sendack's familiar imagery. Any preview that can begin with James Gandolfini's voice saying "I didn't want to wake you up, but I really want to show you something" and me not running out of the theater in tears is a winner in my book. CRY AT THE WILD THINGS! CRY I SAY!

15. Unbreakable (2000)
Ooohhh M. Night Shamalamadingdong. So pretentious that even this trailer, which at the time was just an omnibus, foreboding, curiosity inducing two minutes, not seems overbearing and cliched. But let's imagine for a minute that he didn't pull the same bullshit with The Village and Marky Mark Presents: Trees Are the Worst, and enjoy how clever this preview is that really redefines the word "teaser."

14. Sexy Beast (2000)
"You're just going to have to turn this opportunity yes."

13. Kill Bill, Vol. 1 (2003)
Remember being in the movie theater with all your friends and knowing, just KNOWING that this movie was gonna be totally sweet?

12. The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (2003)
This is definitely the closest Michael Bay will ever get to a list I make of things that don't make me angry. Although this movie was...flawed...this trailer makes me want to see it again. I like the idea of freezing the action with some sort of...old timey...polaroid effect? With a sound that a cat makes? Still, without tearing it to pieces or anything, it's one of the more effective horror movie trailers out there.

11. Punch-Drunk Love (2002)


10. & 9.Broken Embraces (2009) & Volver (2006)
Someday I'll make my "Penelope Cruz Opening Doors In Almodovar Films" montage, but for now:
Volver trailer

Broken Embraces trailer

8. The Royal Tenenbaums (2001)
Everything that I love about this movie is in the trailer. Especially Alec Baldwin's voice.

7. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004)
Like a Bjork video, but longer, and sadder. The trailer, on the other hand, is one of the happiest minute and a halfs you may ever watch.

Top six, in a very youtube embedding-heavy post...to come on Christmas Eve. Or if you're Jewish, tomorrow.

OSCAR BAIT

Now that there are ten (REALLY? TEN, ACADEMY? TEN?!) Oscar nominations for Best Picture, I humbly offer you, for your early consideration, a trailer for a movie that I have not yet seen. CAT LADIES. That's right. It's a documentary about crazy fucking cat ladies. I would like to see this yesterday please.

Can I pay to see this film tomorrow? I'll pay big.